I took my first riding lesson in March 1999— approximately 25 years, 2 months, and 2 billion ounces of blood, sweat, and tears ago. This experience put me in the horse shopping position of very much not my first rodeo in the middle of what is technically my first rodeo. As I navigated starting over in Chattanooga, my first year as a horse owner has been somehow easier and harder than expected, while being more fun than I could have ever imagined.
So, what have I learned? Humor me with some very obvious statements that became fully realized for me this year.
1. A horse is a pet that doesn’t live with you. This has been the most surprising experience. I’m fully responsible for my dogs, but they’re around all the time and easy to manage. I’m fully responsible for Manta…but also not because her daily care is in the (very capable) hands of my incredible barn owners and their staff. Despite having room to keep her at home, the appeal of boarding is not needing to take charge of her daily care, yet I am still sometimes surprised to not be in charge of her daily care.
2. You don’t have to be that smart to own a horse. I technically knew this already because I’ve met horse people (not you though, reader. You’re very smart). But, much like the general fear that I’m not smart enough to travel alone or do my job or buy a house, I thought owning a horse would require more intellectual skill than I possess. (I think this is called imposter syndrome). While horse shopping I spent a fair amount of time reading about horse anatomy and biology because what if I’m expected to know the name of all the bones? (I’m not).
It turns out that I know a thing or two about horses and what I don’t know I ask and then I do know. I guess what I’m saying is that any idiot can buy a horse and it’s not that hard as long as you know the right people and ask the right questions. Once again, imposter syndrome was wrong (I will learn nothing from this and continue to feel like an imposter).
3. Horses don’t know who owns them because horses can’t read. I’ve leased, loved, and ridden countless horses. I liked some more than others and some liked me more than others. A dim and irrational part of my brain (or heart) thought that Manta would immediately love me best of all and we would be best friends. Of course I knew that’s foolish; she is both a mare and a mustang, which means that this is her world and I just live in it.
While Manta certainly likes me, I don’t think she likes me more than Zoe ever liked me, which is fair because Zoe and I spent nearly every day together for 3 years. And neither Zoe nor Manta have a concept of whose name is on the papers. In hindsight, I’m glad to know that Zoe or Geronimo or Sparky or any horse I’ve ever loved would have cared if I’d been the one paying board.
4. I get to know Manta for as long as I want (and luck will permit). Manta is never going to be sold from under me. I won’t move on to another horse and leave her behind. If I move across the country, she’ll come with me. She won’t live forever, but she’ll spend the rest of her life with me, which means we have so much more time together than I’ve ever spent with one horse. For someone who has always been good at bouncing around from horse to horse, the vastness of the journey ahead of me is overwhelmingly exciting.
5. I will never be 22 again. There was a wonderful time in my life when everything revolved around horses. School and work took a backseat to riding. I had no other hobbies and very few other friends. My reward for a small, passionate world was being the best rider I’ve ever been. I could canter a jump course with no tack, I could school 4th level movements every week, I galloped fearlessly and joyfully. When I moved to Nebraska the day after my 26th birthday, I took this opportunity to find other hobbies and see what else could bring me joy. I rode weekly instead of daily and found a love for running, painting, and photography.
Now I’m back to a near-daily horse habit but it’s not the center of my life. I’m a serious rider, but not an obsessive one. Work keeps me from riding as much as I’d like but even then, sometimes I go to the barn just to groom and hand graze. I don’t get annoyed when Tim asks me to go hiking with him on a weekend morning instead of going to the barn. As a result, Manta isn’t as far along as she could be; her progress is upward and consistent, but slow. The teen in me is screaming to hurry up and get Manta ready for shows, but the adult in me feels so much more balance and peace in this life.
6. I just really love ponies. This one I knew before this year, but I’m constantly reminded of it now that I’m back to a regular horsey life. Being in the barn is so great. Horse friends are so great. Riding, talking about horses, thinking about horses, reading about horses, it’s still as fun and interesting to me today as it was 25 years ago.
I am so lucky to have horses around. I am so lucky to have friends and family who understand why I have to put so much of myself into horses. I have worked like hell to get here, but I wouldn’t be living this happy life without a whole lot of love and the right kind of luck. Happy one year, Manta, and thank you for being you.
